Thursday, March 24, 2011

Humble Pie

I've never been Barbie, but I have always enjoyed putting my package together.  I learned from my mom at an early age how to pull it together with clothing, accessories and makeup.  I was graced with blemish free skin, a slight build, dark brown hair and blue eyes.  I don't think I'm vain , but I have always taken pride in looking my best.  I guess you could say that I took my looks for granted.  Well, on day 4 of the golden pills, my niece said, " I don't know how to tell you, but your face doesn't look quite right!"  I immediately ran to the mirror to take a look and discovered my entire face, neck and chest were covered in red unsightly bumps.  For two days, I chose not to wear makeup so as to not agrevate the condition and started taking allergy meds as per the dr.  Jump ahead two days, I found myself trying to get it together for a date.  If I thought dating in my 40s was a challenge, just imagine adding in being a chemo patient.  I walk extra slow to steady myself, will only wear flats and  my roots were showing.  Humbling to say the least.  I found myself feeling guilty about still being concerned with my looks.  Obviously, my priorities and perspective have changed, but is it wrong for me to still want to look my best?  I still want to be desirable and attractive.  My niece did a stellar job on my makeup and styled my hair like Marilyn Monroe.  We pulled together an outfit in a relaxed casual style with coordinating jewelry, purse and shoes.  I may be a bc patient, but I still can retain a feeling of beauty and grace.   

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